{ November 7, 2002 }

A Hairy Dilemma

Yesterday I had to make a trip over to our friendly neighborhood Apple retail store in Lenox Square to ask their "geniuses" to have a look at our beloved iBook named "Scooter." His power jack was loose, and the electrical plug wasn't fitting as perfectly as before. So I wandered into the back of the store, sat on a stool, and waited my turn.

When I pulled the iBook out of my shoulder bag and gently placed him on the perfectly white, luminous counter, a few thin strands of black hair appeared on the bar's surface. The genius' eyes darted away from our discussion and directly at the little hairs disrupting an otherwise perfect space. With both hands on the counter he swept the perimeter of my iBook; pushing the little hairs onto the floor. Once the counter was free and clear, his attention returned. I opened the screen, moved the iBook around a little more to show the power problem, and more hairs appeared. Sweep - sweep - sweep. We repeated this dance about four times, before I finally laughed, apologized, and explained that we had two black cats.

It was then I noticed all the little hairs embedded in-between the keyboard keys, the dirty screen, the scratched white shell, and the faint gray color of the most often pressed keys. I noticed that the space bar was slightly darker on the right side than the left, thanks my right thumb repeatedly clicking it while typing. When flipped over, I noticed the underside was missing a couple of white rubber "feet," and that the battery didn't fit quite as snug as it once did. Sitting there with the genius dressed in head-to-toe black and the glowing white counter between us, I felt oddly embarrassed - like a parent taking a child with food crumbs on their face to a party where all his friends have perfect skin, crisp new haircuts and pressed clothes.

After messing with his power plug for a while, it was determined there wasn't much they could do, unless of course I felt like spending a few hundred dollars - which would be halfway to a new one. A replacement wouldn't be that expensive, I persuaded myself, especially with the new price cuts. And besides, we could get a faster machine with a larger hard drive.

But after playing around with the newer iBooks for a while as I kicked the decision back and forth, I remembered the day Scooter arrived. He was perfect, clean, and without a single blemish - just like these. If I acted on my impulse and purchased a new one, it would eventually end up just as hairy, scuffed, and worn as Scooter, which was sitting inside the bag hanging over my shoulder...watching my every move.

The white lights grew hotter, and oddly brighter, as my decision bubbled to the top. Scooter was a little rough around the edges, and maybe his power cord didn't fit as snug as it once did. So what. He's solid, dependable, and has flown all over the place with me. As stupid as it was to feel attached to a laptop for God's sake, at that crossroad I clearly was.

I returned home, jimmied a folded up piece of paper under the power cord, and forgot all about my temptresses.

Comments

HAHAHA, Todd, that has got to be one of the GREATEST and most GEEKY storied I have EVER heard. I LOVE IT!!! Great stuff :D

Posted by: Josh Dura at November 7, 2002 10:25 AM

Hehe. This story reminds me of this Ikea ad by Spike Jonze

Posted by: Dave at November 7, 2002 10:30 AM

I had a similar experience recently. I took my TiBook in to have a broken latch catch replaced (which seemed pretty chintzy to me), and the “genius” guy asked how long I had the machine for. I told him 9 months, and he gawked as he looked at it and remarked how it was still in mint condition. I didn’t really think so, since the paint on the rim of the enclosure had started to flake and peel. It did strike me as odd, though that after 9 months of daily use (at least 5 hours a day), there isn’t one faded or discolored key or even a single scratch on the screen. I must not excrete ANY oil from my fingertips or something. Either that, or I have some form of stealth OCD that I am unaware of.

Your post is so timely though, since most of us are fiending for those new 1Ghz TiBooks with the SuperDrives. After reading this, I am resisting the siren song of the sexy, sleek machine.

Posted by: Coop at November 7, 2002 10:47 AM

For about $20, you can purchase a mini-vacuum that will remove even stubborn pet hair from the keyboard, card bays, ports, etc. ;-)

Posted by: Bob at November 7, 2002 11:13 AM

That Spike Jonze ad was designed for me. Just me.

Posted by: Todd Dominey at November 7, 2002 12:02 PM

Can you imagine if IKEA started selling Macs? Ihave enough trouble resisting all those "bargain" impulse buys...I go in for a $20 item and end up spending $500...but I really need them, yes i do, i really need all those silver fabric lounge chairs...

Posted by: AJ Kandy at November 7, 2002 12:34 PM

Ikea should sell Macs. They feature Powerbooks and iMacs all throughout their catalogs already.

Posted by: Greg at November 7, 2002 1:35 PM

1. Love the IKEA ad.

2. I know how one can get attached to such things. Geeks have a soft, romantic side. That’s why I’m figuring out 7,000 possible ways i could purchase an iBook.

iHave to have one.

Posted by: grubi at November 7, 2002 1:54 PM

Thats a great little story. Finally, a PowerBook with a SuperDrive - I’ll be making a nifty little trip to my local Apple Retailer and placing an order tomorrow! Gotta love it :-)

Posted by: Josh Allman at November 7, 2002 2:19 PM

I’m assuming you don’t have AppleCare extended warranty on this iBook? I can’t tell you the number of clients I’ve had in exactly your shoes...unwilling to pay a little extra for a warranty and then they get stuck when a component breaks. If you’re in the habit of buying a new computer every 1-1.5 years then an extened warranty probably isn’t worth it for you; but if you tend to keep your computers for more than two years, you really should consider AppleCare. It often pays for itself many times over.

Posted by: Damien at November 7, 2002 6:45 PM

That's what happens when you name your stuff! I had George, the Daytona, for 11 years until, we think, a computer chip blew and rendered him undriveable. He had already reached "totalled" status so it didn't seem smart to spend any more money on him. But I still felt bad because he was my first car, I was his only owner, and my family has sponge-painted him multiple pastel colors while I was on vacation (his paint was peeling badly). I replaced him with a pretty blue Neon but it just isn't the same...

I never named my G4/450 but it did take a couple years for me to finally remove the protective plastic film from the front...

Posted by: Lauri at November 7, 2002 7:55 PM

Sometimes I get "sad" when I see that my 8 month old iBook shows some age and wear and tear. But I didn't buy it to gawk at it inside a glass case, so wear is to be expected.
It's true what you say. The Apple Store is the ultimate in pure Mac perfection, right down to the smell of "fresh" plastic. When I bring my iBook in for something, I'm sure it feels inferior to the shiny (now much faster) iBooks around it.

Posted by: Ryan at November 7, 2002 9:16 PM

I intend to be attached to my iBook for many years to come. Of course, 18 days after I buy my iBook, Apple announces a price cut. But don’t feel bad for me, I love my iBook.

Posted by: Rickey at November 7, 2002 10:20 PM

My little Pismo went back to Apple recently. It was all dirty and almost sticky. ALL of the rubber feet were missing and the thing did not even turn on anymore.
What I got back from Apple was not only a working machine, it was as clean as when I bought it. Really. The keyboard is obviously still the same and there is this shiny spot on the left hand side of the space bar, but Apple must have some sort of super chemicals. The screen was superclean and anti-glared. There was no dust anywhere and my Pismo now has four freshly attached rubber feet. And boy are these attached. (knocks on wood) They are rock solid. I love my little Pismo, maybe because it cost me probably twice as much as a new DVD burining titanium slab would cost me today, but I am happy with what I have here... 500MHzG3/1GB/48GB/2batteries... ; )
Who knows what Apple will come up with next.
Oh, wait... I own Apple shares... I think you should definitely get a new computer. How about one of those new 1GHz Powerbooks, where you can double the RAM for $40 and even save $400 when you buy one of the large monitors. (Definitely go for the largest.) ; )

Posted by: Witold at November 7, 2002 10:29 PM

Great storytelling, Todd. :)

I agree with Damien in the AppleCare front. I just got my 1st generation Ti back from repair for the 4th time, and it's as good as new. The replaced my LCD this time, and now I have no stuck pixels... huzzah!

Regarding IKEA: they recently stopped using macs in all their ads and catalogs, cos they apparently have this special deal with HP now. It is not an improvement at all.

Posted by: courtney at November 8, 2002 12:26 AM

I was in IKEA today (spending too much money, as usual), and was depressed to see the place populated by ugly grey-on-gray HP boxes with big, bright green HP.com stickers on them. Seems to me that IKEA made some bucks on that in-store advertising.

Macs looked so much better in IKEA. They just fit the IKEA look, clean, simple, elegant, fun.

I love my 1.5 yr old Ti500 btw. it’s looking nicely worn, but still better than anything in the PC realm. I’m holding out for the next case revision, or until I get sick of not being able to use Quartz Extreme to buy a new one. Probably never get rid of this one though, I’ll give it to the girlfriend, or make something out of it instead.

Oh well. Time for bed. Great bit of writing, btw.
g.

Posted by: Grant at November 8, 2002 3:16 AM

Oh, I simply love the Ikea ad! The story is great too. I am on my second powerbook. My first one was a Walstreet G3 233Mhz, and is currently sitting under my desk with broken screen hinges, and a fatally damaged sound card (required for recharging/power supply usage).

So, my old Walstreet is in a perpetual coma. I fear it may never recover.

My new (well, year-old) Titanium is serving me quite well, however it has needed over $1500 worth of repairs - all covered under the 1-year warrenty mind you. But, as the year has come to an end, I have finally faced the realization that I need the AppleCare plan. Now, down $350, I can rest assured that I will be covered for 2 more years.

Good night.

Posted by: michael e. gunn at November 8, 2002 4:36 AM

Last night, a friend of mine suggested cracking open my graphite iMac DVSE (Hotaru) and swapping her HD with some shiny, new, capacious one. I was unconfident that I had the skills to put her back together afterwards; friend said, “who cares? Real computers will run with their cases off anyhow.”

This felt actively *painful*.

Posted by: wednesday at November 8, 2002 9:53 AM

Being swayed by the opening of the new local Apple store I felt I was cheating on “Pismo” (G3/400, 512mb/20gb). So I purchased her some iKlear Apple Polish single use wipes. Whoa! Does she look great! Still some scratches from everyday use for 2+ years, but that polish is amazing. They have some in the Genius Bar for PowerBooks, iBooks, and iPods. Now just waiting for some downtime to get the Powerlogix G4/500 upgrade to give her a bit more umphhh... and another battery, and larger drive...

I love “Pismo.”

Posted by: Erik Hansen at November 8, 2002 4:25 PM

I love “Pismo.”

Posted by: Erik Hansen at November 8, 2002 4:25 PM

I think we all love "Pismo."
;)

I love my little RevB iMac, Bondi blue, sans firewire, 233mHz.

Posted by: Jonathan at November 8, 2002 10:39 PM

you must really love scooter

will you bury scooter in the backyard when it finally dies?

Posted by: Benjamin at November 10, 2002 9:48 PM

As my wife dropped my beloved Wallstreet not once but twice, I can't help but hold a grudge against someone who killed a wonderful little laptop.

Posted by: Mike at November 11, 2002 9:41 AM